The Forgettable Four: Spider-Man’s 4 Worst Villains

by Ryan Kirksey

ASM-A5-203x300 The Forgettable Four: Spider-Man's 4 Worst VillainsThere is plenty of talk and speculation right now, including from yours truly, as to who the next on-screen villain will be for the MCU Spider-Man. Will it be Kraven? Scorpion? Doctor Octopus? The complete roster of the Sinister Six? An entire symbiote army? The possibilities seem endless.

This piece, however, is dedicated to the archenemies I can almost assuredly guarantee you will be nowhere near the storyboards of any upcoming Sony or Disney movie. For my money, these are the nemeses that Spidey sees coming, shakes his head at the laziness of that issue’s writers, and thwips them up against the wall with little resistance.

To kick off the debate, here are my four worst Spider-Man villains, listed in the order in which they appeared:

Finisher-120x300 The Forgettable Four: Spider-Man's 4 Worst VillainsThe Finisher

About the only thing this guy finishes is his run as a Marvel character in record time. His first and only appearance was in Amazing Spider-Man Annual #5 where this “elite” assassin worked for Red Skull trying to kill Spider-Man. He ultimately failed when Spidey pulled the old direct-the-heat-seeking-missiles-right-back-to-where-they-came-from trick and blew up Finisher (Karl Fiers) before we could really even get to know him.

I mean, one of his powers was a special contraption in his limo that could take a piece of clothing and track anyone down who had ever worn it. Unfortunately, we would never get to see it used on his white overcoat and gloves.

If you want to own a copy of this special King-Size book, it’s, unfortunately, going to set you back several hundred dollars for a CGC high grade. This is also the first appearance of Peter Parker’s parents (in flashback).

ASM73-206x300 The Forgettable Four: Spider-Man's 4 Worst VillainsSilvermane

It could also be known as the Benjamin Button of the Marvel Comic Universe. Silvio Manfredi (his given name) is introduced in Amazing Spider-Man #73 and was once a powerful crime boss who controlled much of Manhattan. But after a stint in prison, he returns to town to find Kingpin controlling most of his old territory, so he violently attempts to regain what once belonged to his family.

As he transitions to middle-age, his hair turns white, and associates give him the nickname Silvermane. Fearful of growing older and weaker, Manfredi creates some kind of fountain of youth cocktail with Dr. Curt Connors (Lizard) that will reverse age him. After he ingests it, he briefly ages back into a young man and attempts to battle Spider-Man. But in the end, all Spidey has to do is sit back and watch as Silvermane reverse ages into a child, than an infant, and then simply disappears.

Somehow he reanimates and grows to age 39 somewhere down the road, where other attempts on his life are made. Doctors are able to perform a Dr. Drake Remoray-esque brain transplant into a robotic body after an assassination attempt and Silvermane becomes a super-powerful being.

Unfortunately, Silvermane shares his first appearance with another more relevant villain – Man Mountain Marko – in ASM #73. The current cost for a CGC 9.4-9.8 is going to run between $250 and $1,000. It is a Silver Age Spider-Man, after all.

ASM182-192x300 The Forgettable Four: Spider-Man's 4 Worst VillainsBig Wheel

Yes, I had the same first reaction you did. There is a villain who rode around in one of those 1970’s three-wheeled pedal vehicles? That’s not exactly what we have here (although I would buy as many copies of that as I could get my hands on).

Jackson Weele appears in Amazing Spider-Man #182 and ASM #183 as a corrupt businessman who gets mixed up with Rocket Racer and owes him some money. When Racer won’t leave Weele alone about the money, Weele hires the Tinkerer to build the Big Wheel, a large motorized wheel outfitted to act like a tank that he eventually uses to attack Rocket Racer and Spider-Man.

Well, the Big Wheel kept on turnin’. Proud Mary kept on burnin’. And the Big Wheel was rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on to the Hudson River where it crashed and police apprehended Weele and threw him in jail. Again, Spider-Man’s work was done by simply jumping out of the way of a large wheel rolling down the street.

You shouldn’t have any trouble rolling into an ASM #182 for relatively cheap, even in a high grade. It is the issue where Peter proposes to MJ, but even with this event, CGC 9.8 slabs are selling for less than $100 at multiple locations.

ASM559-195x300 The Forgettable Four: Spider-Man's 4 Worst VillainsScrewball

Have you ever felt like live-blogging your criminal acts? Well, Screwball can help you with that. First introduced in Amazing Spider-Man #559, Screwball – whose real name is unknown – is a social media personality who films her escapades, eventually devolving to recording her crimes in real-time.

As far as powers, I am just going to quote directly from the Marvel Fan Wiki on her abilities: “Parkour Expert: Screwball is extremely skilled in urban gymnastics. She can rely on her ability to move swiftly through the city and its rooftops to successfully evade Spider-Man.”

So as if Spider-Man has nothing better to do, he has to waste his time on a social media influencer who likes to jump down four steps at a time. She has provided little resistance to Spider-Man, who has defeated her several times. Screwball was last seen in Las Vegas, presumably having learned parkour is no match for the web-slinger.

There is close to no market for her first appearance, with the few sales in a CGC 9.8 holding steady at around $50 over the last five years.

Truthfully, this only scratches the surface of the laughable villains that have crossed Spider-Man’s path. Panda-Mania, anyone? Which ones do you loathe?

 

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