The time of the cow is coming. Bessie the Hellcow, that is, and she wins the prize for the Oddball of the Week.

Once upon a time - 1975, actually - there was a cow named Bessie. She lived on a Swiss farm, and she was apparently housebroken (a superpower all in itself if you know anything about cows). One day, Dracula was on vacation or something, and he found himself at Bessie’s home. Since he couldn’t find any humans, he fed on Bessie. A heartbroken farmer discovered his pet and buried her. Bessie’s story wasn’t over, and she rose from the grave as an undead, vampire cow. You’d think Blade would be part of this tale, but instead, Howard the Duck stabbed Bessie with a stake. 

To this point, no one has cared much about Bessie the Hellcow, but Marvel Studios could come calling. There was speculation that she could be part of Kevin Smith’s Howard the Duck cartoon, but since that project was canceled, you would think the road would end there. With Marvel’s penchant for the sillier side of superheroes, Bessie’s door may still be open.

I can’t see any of these issues ever becoming prime comic real estate, but they are fun additions to your collections. If she somehow makes it to the MCU, that should raise awareness for her comics, but it’s hard to imagine these suddenly booming. With so many first appearances, even for the most unlikely of characters, having skyrocketed in price, it’s refreshing to find almost anything that’s still affordable at higher grades. 

GIANT-SIZE MAN-THING #5

The first time readers met the Hellcow, she was in a backup tale as part of Giant-Size Man-Thing #5. Fittingly, Bessie was added to Howard the Duck’s mythos. Originally, this was a one-and-done story with Howard investigating the mystery of the vampire cow as she sought revenge on Dracula.

Marvel’s focus on comedy could be the avenue that brings Bessie to life, and she fits the mold for the Marvel Halloween Special. Sure, Werewolf By Night and supposedly Vampire By Night will be the stars, but it’s going to be family-friendly with more comedy than horror. Adding Bessie the Hellcow would be good for laughs.

Want one? A graded 9.8 hasn’t sold since 2018 when it brought $174, and a 9.4 sold for $150 this past January. 

DEADPOOL TEAM-UP #885

Nearly four decades after Bessie had her fateful encounter with Dracula, she rose from the comic book grave. This time, she got her first cover appearance alongside yet another comedy character, Deadpool. In April, a 9.8 sold for $75, but raw copies generally go for less than $20.

SPIDER-MAN/DEADPOOL #23

This could be a silver screen team-up waiting to happen: Spider-Man and Bessie the Hellcow. Okay, maybe not Bessie, but she did make her third appearance in this 2017 issue. Outside her Howard the Duck/Man-Thing debut, Bessie has only appeared in Deadpool comics. If she doesn’t find her way into the Halloween special, the next best option is Deadpool 3. Face it, she’s just weird enough to fit right in. 

There are no records of any graded sales, and that isn’t surprising. There’s nothing particularly enticing about this issue unless you’re putting together the full Spider-Man/Deadpool run. Still, it’s worth adding to your Bessie collection, and I know that you’re suddenly a Hellcow superfan by this point in the blog. You are welcome.

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL

When we’re investing in Bessie the Hellcow, you know Marvel is scraping the bottom of the barrel for characters. As the MCU keeps rapidly expanding with movies, shows, and cartoons galore, practically every first appearance is worth having. Since Marvel’s projects are increasingly slapstick, it makes the joke characters serious business on the collecting side of things, particularly Bessie.

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*Any perceived investment advice is that of the freelance blogger and does not represent advice on behalf of GoCollect.