It’s that time again! Time to pay tribute to all of our fans out there (thanks mom!) and answer your non-existent questions using the qualified and dedicated guidance of your professional comic blogger. I am sure that you are asking yourself “self, why did it take so long between GoCollect Reader Mail #1 and #2?” Easy…nobody ever sends us mail and this is totally fake. The delusions of a madman at best. But that is not going to stop us from making sure that we answer any questions that exist. So sit back and enjoy us solving other people’s problems in a useless manner.
I had a friend who recently retired from our mutual employer. I thought that I was in line to take over his job, but instead, it was handed over to my co-worker Sam. The dude is weirdly into birds and I have 60 years more experience. What should I do? – Bucky B. from Brooklyn
Bucky, aren’t we all on the same team here? Maybe you should be supportive of Sam and help him accomplish his mission. Sounds like you could have a dope team-up because it seems like your friend maybe did you a favor passing the responsibility onto someone else. The higher up you go, the more paperwork!
I have been taking some karate lessons and I think I am ready to join in a big tourney or underground fight club. Are there any special moves that you can help me master? I am trying this one thing with my fist. – Danny R. from K’un Lun
The most impressive Kung-Fu that I have witnessed since Carl Douglas has to be courtesy of Shang Chi. Since the announcement of his movie, prices for Special Marvel Edition #15 have jumped from under $2000 to over $5000 at a 9.8 grade. Not a bad roundhouse kick of profits for those holding a copy. Perhaps you could buy yourself ten rings with all that loot.
I AM GROOT! – Groot from Unknown
Thanks for the declarative statement. We always get one weirdo who slips past the censors. Youths, right?!
My job is related to law enforcement. I am excellent at my job, am a consummate professional, and have proven my worth countless times. So why do I feel like everyone is focused on my hair and not my accomplishments? – Carol D. from Kree Homeworld
Carol, don’t be so hard on yourself. If you can do everything you noted and have great hair, I don’t see how that is a negative. Perhaps you could get a sponsorship from Pert Plus or whatever product of choice you use! Product placement is the future, so get on-board! #PertIsGreenLikeSkrulls
My buddy Johnny is a real hothead. Always spouting off at the mouth. I feel like giving him a knuckle sandwich full of rocks. How do I keep my calm around this guy? – Ben G. from Yancy St.
This is a great question. Perhaps a mediation session with family and friends can help get your buddy to fall more in line. Of course, there is always the proverbial “bucket of cold water” that you could throw on him every time he heats up. Get him to remember that there is more to life than being heated all the time.
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