by Elisabeth@TFAW
Hey kids! I’m all by my lonesome for today’s Dark Reign update, since Josh is out, so get ready: it’s you, me, and eight issues of Dark Reign crossover titles. Beware, I’m a little riled up, so there WILL be SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!
Since it’s just me, I’m going to start with a little rant: Dear Marvel, please stop showing me women’s thong underwear. Not only is it tacky–and soooo 2003–but am I supposed to believe that Natalia Romanova, the elegant femme-fatale superspy, hangs out in her apartment dressed like booty babe? I think not. P.S. Thanks for sending women back to the stone age. So warrior-woman Lyra time traveled from an alternate future dominated by a war between the sexes to . . . get pregnant? Great.
Dark Reign Young Avengers #2 wasn’t quite as offensive as issue #1, and actually gave us some background on the “new” Young Avengers and set up some interesting plotlines for the future. The action starts up right where we left off, with the “old” Young Avengers fighting the “new” Young Avengers. This is quickly broken up by the new Enchantress, and her extremely powerful display instantly puts Wiccan on guard.
Nutbar artist Coat of Arms explains to the original Young Avengers how Norman Osborn inspired her to create the new team. Turns out she’s a total Green Goblin fangirl, and getting him angry enough to knock her iPhone out of her hands just spurred her on. That’ll end well. At the end of the day, the Enchantress “convinces” the upstart Young Avengers to try out for the established team, and the Executioner gets a phone call from dear ol’ mom–Princess Python! I’m interested to see where this will lead in Dark Reign Young Avengers #3.
Punisher #6 sees the Dark Reign storyline in full swing! The Hood has resurrected a small army of lowlife criminals. All they need to do to keep their second leases on life is kill Frank Castle! That’s right, The Hood is determined to get rid of the Punisher once and for all, and he’s even brought back Frank’s previous associate, Microchip, to do it!
I was pretty underwhelmed by this, and I’ve enjoyed plenty of Punisher series in the past. His interactions with his skateboarding, clean-living sidekick bugged, and really, I wanted more Punisher and less setup. There are a lot of newly arrived bad guys to keep track of–thankfully, there’s a handy guide in the back, with sketches of each character and their histories. I noticed they were all killed in 1986–anyone know the significance to this? Hopefully this will all pay off in Punisher #7.
Dark Reign Mr. Negative #1 was an enjoyable read, although the artwork was a little Liefeld-esque to my liking. Of course, anything connected to Spider-Man has a little glow on it, even if this is a bit of a stretch. Turns out Mr. Negative is actually Spider-Man’s Aunt May’s boss, billionaire Martin Li. She dotes on him, not knowing that he’s actually a Chinese crime boss with mysterious powers.
Mr. Negative is embroiled in a turf war with The Hood, who’s backed by Norman Osborn. This all-new, “Brand New Day” villain can possess others, which he does without hesitation–first up is bad guy White Dragon, and then he takes over Spider-Man! We’ll see where this goes next in Dark Reign Mr. Negative #2.
Mighty Avengers #26 was rad! This is a team of underdogs: characters who haven’t been given a lot of respect, and who are led by the King of No Respect, Hank Pym. They don’t have the fancy Avengers Mansion, or the automatic acceptance by others the Avengers typically get, so they get things done by being sneakier and smarter than everyone else.
Hank and company need to retrieve a dimensional wave inducer from Reed Richards to keep their pocket headquarters tethered to the physical world. Richards, however, thinks Pym is too unstable to be given the device (no respect!) and pooh-poohs the notion that he even needs to lock it up (no respect!). Unfortunately for the Fantastic Four, these Mighty Avengers have several tricks up their sleeves. It was pretty satisfying to see the Avengers–and Hank–get theirs. I really enjoy how the plotlines are more character driven–we’re let inside who these people are, which helps us care about them. After the final pages of this issue, I can hardly wait for Mighty Avengers #27.
Invincible Iron Man #14 was also a very satisfying read. Again, I care about–and can tell apart–the characters in this title. Add a gripping plotline and some awesome art, and this is a top-notch entry in the Dark Reign crossover.
Tony has fled to Russia to seek help from an old friend, the Crimson Dynamo! The problem is, because Tony has been forced to downgrade his armor (because he’s been downgrading his brain, destroying sensitive information, as well as copious brain cells), it takes a little while to convince Dmitri that Tony’s the real deal–long enough for the Crimson Dynamo to destroy the Iron Man suit. Ulp.
Fortunately, Tony has a backup plan. Meanwhile, Pepper Potts gets a clean bill of health from an “underground” doctor (she’s lost her health insurance due to the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D.–great touch) and decides to track Tony down–unwittingly leading Norman Osborn straight to him. Oh yeah, and the original Black Widow makes an appearance. And so does her thong. Next up in Invincible Iron Man #15: Tony vs. Madame Masque!
This is the first time I’ve picked up this comic, but Dark Reign Hawkeye #3 was instantly engaging. Norman Osborn’s “Hawkeye” is actually Bullseye, and someone doesn’t want him to forget it. The problem is, Hawkeye can’t figure out if that person is someone else . . . or himself! He keeps seeing Bullseye everywhere–is it a figment of his imagination, or is someone trying to drive him crazy(ier)? Could Bullseye really kill a senator and send himself his old costume and not remember? The fact that this is, indeed, plausible is very intriguing.
This issue nicely used some of the other Dark Avengers, including Osborn and Karla Sofen, a.k.a. “Ms. Marvel.” The scene where Hawkeye goes to see her about Osborn’s potential mental problems–obviously a cover story for him to gather info about himself–was priceless. Dark Reign Hawkeye #4 should be a trip!
Darn you, Josh, where are you when I’d prefer you read Dark Reign Fantastic Four #4? While it’s kind of funny to see the Richards kids play mind games with Norman Osborn, I’ve seen Home Alone. Home Alone is a cherished Christmas movie in my family (what?!?). And you, Dark Reign Fantastic Four, are no Home Alone.
To recap: Norman Osborn and his Dark Avengers have arrived to shut the Fantastic Four down, not realizing that Reed Richards is off exploring alternate universes to see how the superhero Civil War went so wrong, pulling the rest of the team through multiple crazy realities. I don’t really see what the point of this miniseries is, although Reed seems to have come to some huge conclusion about how he’s the smartest, most bestest superhero ever (danger!!), so maybe this will lead to something interesting. In another title. I don’t think Dark Reign Fantastic Four #5 will be that comic.
And now we come to All New Savage She-Hulk #3. I had high hopes for this comic. Although I love the original She-Hulk, Jennifer Walters, her titles have always been played for laughs, and I was ready to see what a more warriorlike She-Hulk would be like. Turns out she’s someone who gets weak when she gets angry, and what she really wants to do is get knocked up. By Norman Osborn. Yeah, really.
I kind of like the fact that Lyra needs to be serene and in control to be at top strength–it’s a nice twist on the character, although it seems to be contradicted in the second story in this issue, by Paul Tobin. But the whole “male vs. female” future war seems very dated, and the fact that Lyra is the savior of her people because of her ability to get pregnant is downright insulting. The end of this title made me feel like I was sucked into an episode of the original Star Trek TV show, and not in a good way. And her sucking face with a stunned and helpless Norman Osborn? Ewwwww! All New Savage She-Hulk #4 had better be worth this.
Whew! I’m exhausted. Hopefully Josh will be back soon–this just isn’t the same without him! What did you think of this week’s Dark Reign titles? Post your comments below!
